You may be wondering how I survived getting hit by a transport truck. You may even want some tips. If you are wondering this, I probably should explain that I was never actually hit by a transport truck, but it sure felt like I was... over and over and over again.
My life was not going as planned. I quit my secure job and secluded myself from my family and friends in this decision, or at least I felt like I did.
My boyfriend and I were living in a house and purchased a car beyond our means. We were only 22 and we were getting in over our head. We had four run-ins with collections. We were robbed. We were falsely accused by the police of setting up the robbery due to our poor financial situation, the robbers went free, and then we were evicted. My parents and friends thought I was a crazy for quiting my nursing job and no one understood my decision.
(Wow, was that a lot of complaining. This first part is for complaining only, it’s all sunshine and rainbows from here…maybe).
I would first like to apologize for my over enthusiastic use of parentheses. But I do enjoy them immensely. On with the story…
I don’t want to go on about the hardships, I will reference them, but I have learned that if I focus on them more tend to happen. Did I mention all of those things happened within 2 months of each other? (I do realize things could be way worse)
Most of my problems stem from not having a “real” job. So when I could have one so easily, what was I doing? I quit my job for something I believe to be right for me. I feel there is something else I am meant to do and I feel there is something on a higher level that I am so close to finding. I am putting this faith in the universe and in my self. I don’t think enough people do this for themselves, and it makes me sad for them.
I think differently than most people. It pains me to conform to society. There is so much else I wish I could be doing. Actually, I would like to reword that, I feel what most people feel but most people are afraid of. People are afraid to have freedom. I plan on spending a lot of my time trying to figure out why.
I had never struggled so much in my life then during this period of my life. I am still struggling but in a different way. The difference is now instead of feeling defeated I am trying to have a positive outlook. The more negative things that happen in my life the more negative things happen in my life. No that wasn’t a typo, I did deliberately repeat myself there. I needed to figure out why I felt the world was crashing down on me. Then I figured it out, I was somehow trapped between what I felt I wanted to be doing and what I was told I should be doing.
How many of you are stuck in jobs you hate, circumstances that you despise, but you still manage to show up everyday and take it?
I know there are select few of you out there who enjoy spending more time working than having fun. But boy- I can just say right now I am not one of you.
The problem is, everyone else is stuck in this no-freedom mindset. I finally figured out I wanted to be free from constrained work schedules and I was going to have the best life ever- only I wasn’t going to. My parents and friends did not support me and they thought I lost my mind (although if you ask them they will deny this). I wasn’t going to have this wonderful life unless I could let go of that and the restrictions everyone was putting on me. I believe we all need to do this.
At the end of the day, you are the only one who has to face the decisions you make.
I want to have the freedom to do whatever I want, I want to dream, I want to have an amazing life, I want to be positive, and exclude the negative…and I had lost my mind? I want to make it one of my life goals to inspire people who think like me or people who want to think like me. I used to think I was a freak for this, but I realize now that it is a gift- and you all have it, you just need to use it.
EVERYONE has it wrong. (except for the few of you who don’t). I know what you are thinking. Hey Mallory how do you plan on living if you’re not doing anything? The answer is, I have no clue, but I know I’m going to enjoy the adventure.
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