Trapped

I had a nightmare last night about sleeping. It wasn't terrifying in the classical sense of ghosts and goblins, although who is afraid of goblins this day in age anyway?

Here it goes ...

Started out as any other dream, Tyler and I were heading to a very old friends house. In my dream, that friends parents had both been killed. We were going to visit her to offer comfort and support.

When we were heading to sleep for the night, the room we were given only had a twin bed. Not enough room for the two of us. [Just as an FYI I have a sleep disorder in which I occasionally take sleeping aids to fall asleep, but I did not take any sleeping pills this particular night]. Back to the story. In my dream, knowing how difficult I find it to sleep, I took a sleeping pill and went to sleep in the car as there was no room on that twin bed.

It was like being fully aware of falling into a deeper level of your subconscious.




And it felt just like that, an uncontrollable feeling, where you literally feel as if you are falling into the dark.

In my dream, I took the sleeping pill, fell to my side, and couldn't get back up.

I was paralyzed, couldn't open my eyes, but was completely aware that I couldn't move. And in my mind, this wasn't a dream it was really happening. I had forgotten that I was dreaming. Never has something felt more real. I remember I was lying in the car, or so I thought, and I was screaming in my head to "Wake up" "Wake up" "Wake up" but I couldn't, my body would not follow the command. And then I started to panic, only that made matters worse because I started to sweat, and I was hot, I felt as if I was boiling. This whole time I think I've actually been in the car.

Somewhere, somehow, my dream was crossing over with reality. I finally manage to somehow wake up, still unable to open my eyes, but somehow I know I'm somewhere else. I can feel the sweat, the heat from the fleece sheets we have on our bed. I scream "Wake up, Wake Up" because I know I am somewhere else, I was back in reality again. I keep screaming "Wake up Wake up," I still can't open my eyes or move, and suddenly I hear Tyler say "Mal, what is happening?" So I say with such hopefulness "you can hear me?" and he says "yeah I can hear you!"

I am so relieved, it felt has if days had gone by in complete darkness. Alas, I can be saved.

I say "I can't see you." Then Tyler informs me that I should open my eyes in a sarcastic tone....I try, and I cannot open my eyes. Then Tyler realizes this is serious. He starts to get concerned. I instruct him to turn on the lights so maybe my eyes can start to adjust. He follows suit, asking if i can see yet. He tells me my eyes are open, but I still cannot see, it is complete darkness. The darkness was completely consuming me.

Then in the middle of my field of view, I start to see some light, and I start to see the edge of Tyler's face. Finally! I am awakened, Tyler hugs me as I cry. I've never been so terrified, so glad the nightmare is over.

I start to explain to him how I was having a nightmare that I was trapped in my own body, still sweating, still boiling, still uncomfortable, when suddenly, I feel an odd pressure on my feet.

The dog has just jumped on the foot of the bed, and I awake again. But this time, it is real. Tyler is sound asleep, nothing I thought just happened has happened at all.

And I am lying there drenched in sweat and I am scared to go back to sleep...